06 March 2008

Dependency… from another’s perspective

I am not going to pretend to be a villager, poor, African or in need of aide for survival… but I am going to try to put myself in their place for a minute… with a first world (if they are the third world does that make us the first and who’s on second…) scenario…

Say you’re a teenager and your parents buy you a brand new car… that would be cool… at the time I would have wanted a VW Jetta or Honda Del Sol… but at the time I was listening to too much Mariah Carey and Boyz 2 Men so it was effecting my thinking… back to the story… the car is great and mom and dad pay for insurance, maintenance and provide me a credit card for gas… which I occasionally use for a coke and Doritos at the mini-mart… they never seem to mind…

One day I turn 25… and the car’s engine falls out and leaves me with $5000 in repairs… I am used to having my parents come up with the cash and I expect them to pay for the repairs … but out of nowhere they refuse to pay and tell me to grow up… my job at Blockbuster doesn’t afford me the luxury of having $5000 on hand… neither does my love for PlayStation3 and leaving work early to surf… so I sell the car for scraps and resort to riding my bike and only taking girls out on dates that are in walking distance from my parents house… sadly I know too many guys of which this story is true…

Who’s to blame?

Did the parents teach their son to be independent or did they foster his dependency?

When the son received everything for free did he have any motivation to work?

Were the parents wrong for assuming that their 25 year-old son should just grow up and figure it out himself?

Did anyone else go through a Boyz 2 Men phase or think that Jettas were cool?

I realize that after thinking about dependency for a few days it is tempting to stop writing checks or to write a dependent project your donating to off… but before we pull the plug… is there a way to move from dependency to self-sustaining? That seems like a question worth answering…

2 comments:

Julie said...

It's been great to hear what you've been learning, Jeff! I am both inspired and convicted...

Teenietinyt said...

YES there is an answer: get in close and stay stong. I love supporting Aida b/c I have a relationship with her mother and we talk regularly to make sure accountability is stable. I don't so much enjoy sponsoring other kids b/c I have no way of seeing things through. Accountability is not just for finance...but also for growth, development, and success.