11 September 2009

How White Are You?

I am 15% white. I would have scored higher, but being homeschooled gives me the distinct advantage of not knowing any of the pop culture people and music mentioned. I like coffee, diversity, marathons (at least the idea of one day running a marathon), indie music, sushi, and a handful of the other Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander. Need some good laughs? Here are a couple of my favorite zingers from the book....

"In many cultures when someone does not eat any food for days and survives only on a mixture of water, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup they are said to be in the midst of a famine. But when a white person does it, they are in the midst of a cleanse." (my last cleanse was in July)

"Apple products also come with stickers. Some people put them on their computers, some people put them on windows, but to take this to the pinnacle of whiteness, you need to put the Apple sticker in the rear window of your Prius, Jetta, BMW, Subaru 4WD station wago, or Audi. You then need to drive to a local coffeeshop and set up your Apple for the world to see. Thankfully, the Apple logo on the back will light up! So even in a dark place, people can see how unique and creative you (and the five other people next to you doing the same things) truly are!" (when I die, there will be no room to be buried next to Jeff; that spot is already reserved for his Powerbook)

"It is hardly a secret that all white people love being near water. And why wouldn't they? It provides so many of the activities that they love - swimming, kayaking, canoeing, sailing - and it's a perfect place to read. Before we move on, let's not gloss over the last point. White people love to be near a body of water so they can read a book while sitting nearby. The process of reading is somehow heightened through the process of doing it near water. Extreme reading!" (my dream is to one day own a house right on the ocean with a hammock for reading)

1 comment:

Jen said...

Ooo, I can't wait to read this book. I'm probably extremely white!